My daughter was really embarrassed… she forgot to bring a sweater to hide her hairy arms, so she kept her coat on. The previous week at choir a couple of kids laughed at her and told her she had hairy arms.
When my wife told me I felt so helpless… Like I can’t even protect my beautiful girl from the insensitivities of other children. I felt sad even. There is no reason for her to have to think about her arms. She’s nine. I know it’ll happen, but I’m a typical protective father.
In my younger years I’m ashamed to admit I got into a lot of fights over this sort of thing. Like fist fights. Even as a kid I couldn’t handle bullying. It’s a sure way to get a solid reaction out of me even to this day. But you know… I’m mellowing a tad now, like a good wine I hope.
So we had a good chat. The kids didn’t mean to hurt her, sometimes they just mention things they are observing. It’s not personal. Her mom is European, that’s where all the beautiful people come from. There and Canada, obviously. Her aunts and great aunts and uncles are all beautiful with dark skin and Natalia has a strong representation of her mothers side. Beautiful.
So it’s been on my mind and I need to say, you need to ignore anybody’s idea of what beautiful is unless they love you. No one has the right to input their ideas of beauty unless they can look you in the eye and tell you they love you and you low it’s true.
That means advertising has no right to tell you you are too anything and you should change this or that. They don’t love you. They don’t care about you. They don’t know your heart.
Kids on the schoolyard have no right to input, just ignore it.
The scale doesn’t love you. It’s a numerical value representing your body’s interaction with gravity. It can’t tell you to lose weight. It doesn’t care about you.
And here is the most important point of all… YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF or you will get sucked into the gears and start to believe the lies that you are not good enough or pretty enough.
Sure, be healthy, look good, feel good. But don’t let people that don’t actually love you tell you what that looks like.
You are beautiful.